From a Yellow Brick Road to a Red Light

Well, today was Day 3 back to school. I can start to feel the presence of a more normal routine and pace around my house. We actually picked up around the house a little tonight. That alone is a big step forward from the last five or six weeks. Seriously, this summer has been almost overwhelming. I'm glad we did it all, but man, am I wiped out!

And really, we aren't quite done. We're going to Chicago this weekend for a Cubs game - where we will be sitting in a suite with my mom's family. This is the second time we've made this trip, and I think it will be pretty fun. As long as I keep the little ones away from my uncle John, who has turned into the the old guy who comes out on his front porch yelling, "Hey, you kids, get outta my yard!" But he's holding a glass of wine when he does it.

Then the following weekend, we'll be going home to Illinois for my Grandpa Noller's 80th birthday and some family fun with my Dad's family. Hmm...I wonder if my dad will be there. Funny that it only just now occured to me that he might. Oh well, that's a story for another time!

Finally, at the end of the month, we're going to Kings Island. The VP of Org Development takes the entire department and their families every year. The whole family, a chartered bus, entry to the park, and a meal. Free. I have never imagined working in a place that actually liked having me as an employee. It's kind of intoxicating. And you KNOW I like being intoxicated!

Anyway, as fun as all of that will be and all of everything else has been, there will be a couple of top highlights that I will remember about this summer. For one, I got to go to Beef & Boards for the first time way back at the beginning of June to see the Wizard of Oz. Do you know me? Do you know my love for this movie? If not, you should probably count your blessings. The people around me who do know about my thing with the Wizard probably wish that they didn't. I loved the whole thing. It was my birthday present from Steve, and I have to say, one of the best ones ever. I bought myself a couple of souveniers to commemorate the occasion: a wind-up music box that plays 'Over the Rainbow' and a witchy door hanger. The music box has already been claimed by Abby. I sing that song to her as a lullaby and when I had to be in Waco for almost two weeks, I told her that whenever she missed me, she could use my "special music box" to hear our song. So now that's Abby's "special music box." Oh well, it worked and helped my guilt while I was gone. As for the door hanger, that has become one of my favorite decorations on my cube wall at work. One side is pink and says Good Witch. The other side, the side that is showing most often, is green (!) and says Bad Witch. Hee hee. I just love it.

And then there's the other highlight of my summer. Oh, who am I kidding, probably one of the highlights of my life. You know, umm, after marrying Steve and having my kids. Right, that's what I meant. A couple of weeks ago, I took a road trip with some friends to Detroit. Woo hoo! That's it, man! Detroit! Awesome! Oh, and while we were there, we just popped in to the Palace and saw

Yes, with Sting and his little Tantric self. I know I should care a little more about the other two guys, Andy and Stuart, and they were great and all, but they're no Sting. Plus, they are really OLD! My fellow travelers were some of my friends from church. There were two men and two women, we're all married, but none of us to each other.

Here's our one group photo, taken by a guy who really wanted our wine, but didn't have his own glass - seriously, how unprepared is that?!

Weird? You might think so, but it was terrific. And I learned a very important lesson: Much like calling Shotgun early, you must also state clearly before the trip commences that "What Happens on the Road Trip, Stays on the Road Trip." Otherwise you might come home being called Pot Head, and not for the reasons you might think. There were lots of interesting conversations on the way to and from Detroit, but I don't think I can share them all here. Not because the What Happens rule was invoked, but because I would laugh too hard to be able to continue to type. Sting should feel good that the intricacies of Tantra were discussed in such detail, though. And we seriously think he could get a killer endorsement deal with K-Y if he'd push that seven-hour angle.

I leave you with a little Sting:

Busted, literally - signs from God

I'm back. I know I haven't been around much. We have been soooo busy, it's unreal. It seems to me that we tried to squeeze an entire summer's worth of activity into the last five weeks, starting with the last week of June and ending today. Wow, I'm exhausted. Since I've been away for a while, I hope you're settled in for a long post...

First, a quick recap. When last I left you, I had managed to make it through vacation bible school week relatively unscathed. In fact, it was one of the best years of VBS that I can remember. And I think the kids had fun, too. There were horses and pig kissing and WAY cool decorations. And yes, I am already annoying people by starting to talk about next year. Anyone who complains is going to go on God's shit list for sure, so watch it! The month of July has been filled with, among other miscellaneous things, the carnival in town, trips to Kokomo Beach (not a real beach, but an awesome - small, un-crowded, clean, cheap - water park, Steve's week off, a Police concert (more on that tomorrow), Camp Anderson, the new Harry Potter book, the county fair, Abby's last dance class until September (I am proud to report that we were on time!), an Indianapolis Indians game with people from church (which I coordinated, thank you very much), the Brickyard (for Steve and Andrew) and Abby's first trip to Club Libby Lu for a Libby Du both on this past Sunday (I don't want to hear any comments about makeup on my three-year-old - it was a special Girls' Day Out), and finally, today, Andrew's first day back to school. This is honestly the first year I can say that I feel relief at having that boy go back to school. Probably because this is the first summer where I have consciously worked to make Andrew feel like there is a difference between the school year and his summer vacation. I have been late to work (9 or 9:30 am late) almost every day the month of July so that he and Abby could sleep in a little more (okay, and so I could sleep in a little, too!); we've let them stay up late (hah, as if implying we actually have any kind of control when it comes to bedtime); we have not turned down any opportunity for parties or swimming or trips to the park or anything else. Like I said, I'm exhausted.

With everything else going on, I've slipped off of my diet plan over the last couple of weeks. I was holding on pretty well for a while, but then...well, let me say that I've learned some things about myself: 1. I am most certainly a stress-eater. I always thought this about myself, but getting myself to a pretty good place with food choices and then having stress rear its ugly head has cemented it. Work has picked up a LOT this month. Some of the stress that I eliminated when I left the Evil Empire and that I didn't have here in Eden while working in Finance has returned now that I am back in HRIS and working with Payroll again. And when I start to feel anxious and stressed, the first thing I want to do is grab a snack. You know, like when Payroll sends me tax balance reconciliation files Thursday afternoon and then follows up with a near-belligerent e-mail on Friday afternoon telling me that anything less than a perfect file by noon on Monday is completely unacceptable because they have to file by Tuesday and they have other things to do to the reports and never mind that they waited until THREE business days before that to look at the balances on a system they JUST WENT LIVE ON. Ahem. Let's move on, before I feel the need to look for some cookies. 2. I also learned concretely that when things with work and family get hectic and something has to give, what gives is me. I'm not saying that because I'm some kind of martyr or want sympathy points (though I wouldn't turn down a medal, you know, if you've got one you've been wanting to give me). It's just the truth. My stuff (tracking my food, exercising, sleeping, etc.) is the easiest to modify, reduce, or give up altogether. For the last few weeks, that's what has happened. And I have missed the little all-about-me life I had started to build: my blogging here and on the kids' site; tracking and (only slightly anally) monitoring my food, exercise, and weight on SparkPeople; walking alone or with Leslie, for no one but me. Sadly, though I didn't know it at the time, the day that marked the beginning of my tumble from the healthy lifestyle wagon was the day that I went for my best walk ever. We visited friends who live in the Illinois countryside, in what we now fondly refer to as Camp Anderson, and I walked about 2 3/4 mile in the middle of nowhere with just me and my thoughts. It was awesome. I did not want to come home. They have peaceful surroundings, five acres of land that is theirs, an inground -heated- pool, and three big dogs, one of which is a yellow lab who wanted to come home with me.

That was a week and a half ago. I had been faltering a bit before that, but since we got back, I'm not sure I've logged anything at all, and I'm pretty sure I haven't done any purposeful walking. I say purposeful because you know there has been plenty of walking, but no Walking, where I strap on my shoes and walk with the intent of walking a certain distance in a certain time frame at a certain speed. In other words, my walking has been running around after my kids, stepping over clutter and laundry and toys and crap in my house, or walking through the Wal-Mart or the grocery trying to remember exactly what it was I was supposed to be buying. The normal stuff.

But then, God looked down upon me and must have thought I needed some help pretty badly - and that I am pretty dense (He's smart like that) - because He started sending me some very clear signs pointing me in big flashing neon to get myself back to where I was before July happened. First, on Sunday, I tried to talk my daughter out of going to church. Yes, it's true. I know! God is going to be doing some serious smiting on my ass. Well, all that time my daughter spends in daycare - away from my horrible heathen influence - must be doing some kind of good because she wouldn't let me out of it. Steve and Andrew had already left for the race and we were running about 15 minutes late and I tried to say we just couldn't go and be that late because the service had already started and she cried. Tears. Because she wanted to go to church. Or maybe because she was sad because she had just realized that her Mommy is going to go to Hell, I'm not sure. So I took the oh-so-subtle hint from the Big Man that I should be getting myself some salvation and we went. And we stayed in the nursery the entire service, except for Children's Sermon and Communion, because she wouldn't sit in the pew and wouldn't let me leave her side. At least I got communion, so my soul should be safe for most of the week...

Then, Steve started running again. He's decided that he needs to lose 15 pounds between now and the Tuesday after Labor Day. That's 15 pounds in 35 days. So he hopped on the treadmill yesterday and again this morning. And he's now decided that the food he's been pushing on me for the last two or three months while I steadfastly (most of the time) resisted is now - now that I've given in to the chocolate chip ice cream calling my name from the freezer - evil. He reads labels. He reviews calorie and fat content. Not that he really needs to. He's a man, after all. He thinks about losing weight, and Poof!, it's gone. I asked if he'd think about me losing some weight, too, so we'll see if that works.

Finally, today, the light went on in my head. I wore my favorite blue pants to work. They've been snug for quite some time, and frankly, snug is being kind. It hurts to button them. But, I haven't worn them for a while, and I have lost some weight. Not much, true, but even over these last few weeks when I haven't been walking and haven't been logging, I haven't gone completely over the deep end. I haven't made especially terrific food choices, but I've still been having a SlimFast shake for breakfast (I actually like them), been behaving relatively well when it comes to portion sizes, and have still managed to lose about 1/2 pound each week. Not great, but at least the number is still going in the right direction. I didn't get my work laundry washed this weekend, so my selection was limited and I thought I could get away with wearing the blue pants. The pants were still rather tight in the waistband (they fit everywhere else, I swear!), but I managed. I brought my lunch today - being goodish with homemade lasagna and cottage cheese with pineapple - but it was our technical consultant's last day, so some of the guys here were taking him out and invited me. Now, I don't get many chances to hang with "the boys" here at work, so I accepted. We went to Bellacino's where I gave in to my longing for their baked ziti. Oh, it is quite delicious. And I forgot to ask them to bring one dry breadstick instead of the two pieces of delicious garlic bread, so I just went ahead and ate them anyway. But their portion of ziti isn't enormous - at least not by my standards - and I thought I would be fine. When we got back, I headed to the restroom (two Diet Cokes with lunch) and that's when it happened. My third - and trust me on this, FINAL - sign from God pointing me back to my path. My zipper busted. Broke. Unzippable. And I was headed back in to training class. Lovely. So I managed to find two safety pins and a rubber band and I put my pants back together so I could make it through the day. Luckily, I wore a relatively long shirt today, so no one noticed. Or at least, no one pointed and laughed when I walked by. Well, okay, maybe they did point and laugh, but that's kind of a normal occurrence when I walk by anyway. Point is, I get it. I'm there. I understand. I do not need to be hit on the head. Or popped in the eye with a(nother) flying zipper to get the hint. Tonight, I'm going home to a salad and a walk around the neighborhood.

Oh, and I know this was all God's doing. Because if it had just been life screwing with me, the zipper would have broken at lunch. In front of all the boys. God is holding off on that level of smiting until I do something really terrible, like have sex in the living room.