Don't sign me up for the Boston Marathon yet

I realize my posts are fairly random. I post about writing batch file programs, my kids, work, depression, Momtinis...I know. But, seriously? That's how my life is. It is random and nonlinear and full of lots of different things. So...today I've got a new random subject: my treadmill. More appropriately, my LOVE for my new treadmill.

I never believed I would be a runner or a treadmill owner. And I don't think I'm going to go so far as to call myself a runner now, either. But I think I have more potential to become a runner now than I ever thought I would. My friend (also my boss - yes, it's awesome) had a treadmill she was looking to sell and Steve and I have talked about getting a treadmill. Yes, we have made the same goal that millions of other people make every January - to lose weight/get in shape. But I feel more serious about this than just a diet. In fact, I don't really think about this as a diet. We are trying to make a change in how we live. I am actually very consciously trying NOT to use the word diet or talk about losing weight. I don't want to start those images and ideas in the kids' heads already. I know it's never too early to start lifelong problems with food and self-image. So anyway, we got the treadmill. We've had it for a couple of weeks now, and I really really like it. I don't really like the fact that it's in the living room, but since we don't have an extra room to put it in or a basement, the living room is the best option.

I have not been on it every day, but I have been on it more days than I have not. And I have even started running on it. I read somewhere that beginners should start out alternating walking for 3 minutes and running for 2 to ease in to running. I did that all this week for a mile or so each time. Today I did that for a mile and walked another 2 miles. I know, I'm a wuss. Please, don't tell me. I KNOW! But for me, this is a big step away from my sedentary lifestyle. I want to be healthy. I want to be a good model for my kids. We're all eating a little better - but we aren't going crazy. I love food. Get that right - I LOVE food. And if I try to eliminate all the things I love the best (that would be French fries, for starters), I know it won't stick. But if we add in more fruit and vegetables, switch to brown rice, eat more fiber, reduce the fat and sugar...blah blah blah...I just might be able to do it. And my kids might not become one more statistic about obese children. Though, to be honest, I don't see Andrew having trouble with that any time soon. For him, I want him to learn how to eat healthy. With the history of heart trouble on his dad's side, he needs to start early.

So the treadmill. Have I mentioned that I love it? Yes, I did. Really, if I'm being honest here, I don't love running, or even walking that much. While I'm doing it, I have a very strong hatred of the effort it takes to make my body go. I don't like being sweaty. It's gross. And I am not cute when I sweat. But at the same time, I love the way I feel. I love that the sweat means I am working and the working means I am burning calories and the burning of calories means I am healthier! They aren't lying when they talk about those endorphins. I feel them. I take pride in the (yes, wussy) fact that I can run. No, I can't run far - yet - and I don't run for very long - yet. But I am already getting stronger. I feel confident that I am going to make the goals I've set. Where I am weak in the face of food, I am strong when I am on my treadmill. Maybe it's because the treadmill is pointed right toward the kitchen and I have direct line view of the refrigerator....it's the old carrot on the stick trick!! Ha!